another day another dollar . . .

it's a bit personal, but i feel i need to write about this on here. maybe someone else is suffering from the same .

i am 5'7. i weigh 135lbs. i would like to weigh 119lbs, however this has been a long time fictional dream and never one i have achieved. i eat what i want when i want and i don't diet. i come from good hearty peasant stock and i am happy. but, in the back of my mind i am always wanting to weigh 119lbs.

why?

because about 25 years ago i read in a magazine that christie brinkley weighed 119lbs. i think it was about the time she was marrying billy joel, so it was a long time ago. anyway, that weight has stuck in my mind and i have never let it go. i have never been close to that weight. i have weighed this 135lbs since forever and ever and ever amen. it doesn't change. i weigh the same and i am a size 4-8 off the rack depending on the brand. i am happy. really i am.

i just want to step on the scale and see the number 119 flash before me. i don't want to read 135. i want to read 119.

how does one get there?

i don't diet. i don't watch what i eat. i don't count carbs or calories. i eat. i eat what i want. i eat what i want when i want. i eat however much i want until i am full and then i stop.

i don't even know how to begin a diet. how pitiful is that? so, here i am beginning a diet. a diet to try and get to 119lbs. how long will this take? i have no idea. it may take a few weeks? maybe a few months? longer?

i'll keep you posted.

monday . . .

i am now officially a re-entry student. that is the polite term for people over 25 who decide to return to school. it's better than referring to myself as a middle-aged mom deciding to make a career change over 50. i'm not the oldest in the program, but then i didn't expect to be. the average grad student is 42. i think when i was in grad school, the first time around, the average age was 32. i was a young grad student back then. now i am old(er).

school started last thursday and i love it! i love being in school. i love learning. there isn't anything i don't love about it. did i tell you that i love school?

the only thin i don't like is the commute. while i don't live far from seattle, last thursday i left at 3:30pm. bad time to leave. I need to leave here about 2:00, and then go sit in starbucks or the library and do some reading and homework. i'd rather sit studying than sit in traffic.

i spent about 6 hours this weekend doing homework, but i am done with what i needed to be ready for class tuesday. i have two classes. one is an intro to paralegal studies and basically learning the two court systems we have--thoroughly and in depth. the second is legal research and writing. total of 9 hours per week of school and then about 2 hours of study per hour of class. i don't know how i would do it if i were working too. it will work for me though.

re-entry student. i think my blog may have just discovered what it's theme could be. maybe.