my child did not?

I love Not Me! Monday created by My Charming Kids so I’ll take this time to reflect on what I did not do this past week. Please take a moment to visit MckMama's blog to see what she has not been up to herself this week, or better yet this week is what children have not been up to. not my children, oh no they did not.

• my, at the time 27 year old son, did not wash the 100% cashmere designer sweater i bought him for christmas. and said son did not then call me asking me to please go buy him another one, at $259, because it was his favorite sweater that he wore every day. my son would never do this.
• my oldest son, the film editor, did not once again work on a johnny depp project and refuse to let me near the set. he has not done this to me five times now. my son would not do this because he knows i "heart" johnny depp.
• my youngest, son while in college in eastern washington, did not stop at a safeway on the way back home from skiing and pick out a puppy, from the "free puppies" box, and bring it home for mom to care for while he was away at school. he did not do this knowing we already had 4 fur children roaming our grounds.
• back as a fresh, in high school, my daughter did not let me spend all day on a saturday getting her hair done for the homecoming dance and not tell me what would happen to her beautifully coiffed hair when she played her volleyball game before the dance. this same daughter did not then expect me to heat a large instrument on the stove and straighten her hair. not her, never her.
• my youngest son and daughter, who are only 10 monhs apart in age, did not convince their french teacher, in high school, that they were faternal twins. said son was 5'10, blond hair, euro american while said daughter was 6', black hair, african american. they did not laugh hysterically when i was completely caught off guard when at back to school night the french teacher was clearly furious with my children after she met us, their parents.
• my youngest son did not call me last november to say i needed to come to his house to pick up his dog, the same dog he brought home from the "free puppies" box at the grocery store, because he decided spur of the moment to go to london. he then did not play the guilt card and tell me he was also going to france to see his sister. he also did not call me from scotland to tell me he was in scotland and staying a little longer than planned. not my son. my son plans ahead.
• same son did not call me in march to again tell me to come to his house and pick up his beloved dog because he decided spur of the moment to go to italy. not my son. my son plans ahead--if i say this enough will it happen?
• same son, an avid sailor and civilian large tour boat captain, did not tell me on thursday that he was considering joining the coast guard officer reserves, so he can be port commissioner someday and also so he can become a cruise ship captain, oh and they'll pay for graduate school too. what the ? i don't think so. not my son. this child did not forget about "don't ask don't tell". he did not.
• the three of them did not do a lot of things, but i am too tired now to think, let alone continue to laugh at the memories.