tuesday needs . . .

i am sick. sick. sick. kidney infection.

for most a kidney infection is not a big deal. not a big worry. take some aggressive antibiotics, drink a lot of water and feel better in a day.

not for me.

in december 2008, i had septic shock (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Septic_shock ) or as my dr.'s like to say, i went septic. i thought i had a bladder infection and was waiting to go to the doctor until i had a day off to go. well, i ended up in the emergency room on a thursday night and learned i had a kidney stone in my left kidney and nothing showed up in my right kidney. the next day, friday, i went into the hospital to have it lasered and then went home that evening. on sunday mr. roll was helping a neighbor with his christmas lights and he came back in the house to check on me and found me unconscious. 911.

they took me to the local hospital where they quickly discovered what was wrong--i had septic shock. they airlifted me to swedish hospital in seattle where i was admitted to icu. i have no memory at all of any of this, in fact, i don't even remember having the laser done on the kidney stone. i was in a coma, on a ventilator for 10 days waking up the day after christmas. i stayed in icu, after waking up, for a few more days and then moved into a regular room for a few more weeks while i learned to walk again and use my motor skills. i also heard from every doctor and nurse that came to see me how lucky i was to a) be alive, b) have all my limbs, c) have my vision.

while a kidney infection is not a kidney stone, anything kidney is serious for me. my right kidney no longer works well, and this is where the infection is sitting right now. the pain is unbearable with pain meds. i don't like pain mediation. i am scared to death of anything involving my kidneys. been there and done that. scares me. scares mr. roll.

i know i am in good hands with my nephrologist is the best in seattle. his bedside manner is great too. i feel better just knowing he is so on top of my care. this helps my mental sate , in handling this, a lot. there is a lot to be said for an outstanding doctor with an excellent bedside manner.

i need a lot of prayer right now. it's one of those times i wish i had more people read my blog, so i could get covered in a lot of prayer. i do not want to go septic. never want to do that again.