thursday thankfulls

a visit to the dr. didn't turn out as i thought . . .

mr. roll met me at the dr. kane's office this afternoon where i was being seen to begin testing. testing for the residual affects of septic shock and hopefully make a diagnosis as to what i have going on inside my body.

21 vials of blood were taken from me. i feel my life is resting in those 21 vials of blood going off to labs around the country. i didn't particulary want to hear more from the doctor, but being married to an engineer means that we weren't leaving without information on what was on the list of things to look for in the blood work.

lupus.

kidney disease.

lymphoma.

not what i wanted to hear. but, it is the worst and it can get better if these are false. false. false. false. this is my prayer.

blessings,

mrs. roll

wednesday wantings

today was a day of trying to work on the house

a day of taking a lot of rests . . .

a naday for an afternoon nap.

i am having such a hard time accepting this septic shock. even though i am over the sepsis, i am still having ongoing problems with my health. i go to the doctor tomorrow to begin tests to see what i may get back and what i won't get back. some of my small motor skills are gone. gone. gone. i don't know how to feel about it, but right now i am aggrevated.

i had hoped to get busy on the office today, but i couldn't. i could hardly walk and when sitting up i couldn't hold my head up. i had no muscle power today at al. so i finally just went to bed and turned on marley and me.

tomorrow is another day and i don't need to be to the doctor until 2:00, so i hope to get some housework done in the morning.

blessings,

mrs. roll

tuesday thoughts

today was a magical day of nothingness . . .

i woke up early and for some reason i got up and stayed up. this is always a ood sign for me and one that causes me to pause and think that septic shock was just a nightmare and didn't really happen to me. alas it did happen, but today there was no evidence of it.

i cleaned the master bathroom and then took off for starbucks to do some writing. i had a lot more planned to do at home, but mr. roll decided to work at home which meant i could not work to clean the home office. i happily fled to a day alone in my own space and time world. it's all good.

i spent time on facebook. i worked on my letter of intent for paralegal programs in the seattle area--there are only 3. i went to seattle tan where i was introduced to a new bronzing tanning lotion, a new face cream, and a new after tan lotion. wow. i felt touched when baily, the worker at the tanning salon. told me she had the newest lotion on hold for me because she knew i would love it! i did and i bought it. wow is all i can say about it, since i already look darker. i am happy i finally bought a face cream for tanning as i know the regular lotion is too much for the face and does nothing to protect it from getting too tan, which my face is. i haven't been too tan since i was in high school sitting out on the beach covered in crisco to burn to a deep tan. that is exactly what we did back then. amazing i don't have skin cancer by now.

i am leaving for las vegas in 2 weeks and i am so ready to go. i want the warm weather and the pool to sit by. when i spoke with shannon today she mentioned that we needn't use her pool because the casino pools were now open to the public . . . i say we hit the palms or mandaly bay. whichever.

my poor dog bear has an ear infection. i must create the picture for you of bear and harley. bear is a 100lbs dog. he's a big gentle giant part retriever and part newfundland. he is the kindest dog i have ever known and he lives to make his mom (me) and dad (mr. roll) happy and content. harley is the little 20lbs guy. harley is a brussels griffon terrier, who should weight 12lbs. so to say that he is over weight is to say the least. harley loves bear so much and to watch them together is to see too soul mates. the problem is that harley licks bears ears which always leads to an infection in bears ears. all day today bear hasn't felt good. i could see this as early as this morning when he was laying on the bedroom floor with his head resting on his pink bunny. the pink bunny is his oldest and favorite toy, in fact we try to keep the other two dogs from ever touching brear's pink bunny as we know it will upset him. he dragged the pink bunny all over today as he wen toutside then into the family room to lay down and now into the family room on the couch with daddy and his head resting on his pink bunny. mr. roll will take him to see dr. heather tomorrow and get the ear drops for him. harley needs to stay away from bear's ears.

i'm going to a cabi party on friday evening and i hope to buy some new things to take to las vegas and the warm weather.

blessings,

mrs. roll

monday musings

did i really sit and read 400 ages of my book this morning?

as usualy mr. roll's alarm went off at 6:30am and he got up to shower and get ready for work. i reached over to grab my book and read for a short while before getting up myself. now i didn't have a lot planned to do today but some chores to get the house in orde before the in-laws arrive on may 7th. but, i certainly did not intend to lay and read 400 pages of my book and thus stay in bed until 11:00. wow. this is a good life :)

the house needs some jobs completed before peter and nancy arrive in 2 weeks. nothing big, but i prefer to do a little each day and get a handle on getting it under control. so today i striped out the food pantry and reorganized it. what a difference. one can actually open it and see what it there without everything spilling out everywhere. the next thing i did was rip the padding off the stairs. we had removed the carpet last november when we planned to have new floors put in over the christmas holiday why mr. roll was off work. that didn't happen as septic shock took over my life and new wood floors was no longer a priority. maybe next christmas.

tuesday plan:

1. the office trash
2. rearranging the office furniture
3. removing the upstairs hallway padding

wednesday plan:

1. bedroom makeover
2. master bathroom makeover

friday plan:

1. kitchen counters
2. clean refridgerator

saturday plan:

1. yard work with mr. roll
2. dump run x 2

the only really big plan for next week is basic cleaning of the downstairs and i want to steam clean the carpet in the living room and family room. it's all good.

blessings,

mrs. roll

Sunday Sonshine

it's good to feel so exhausted.

this morning mr. roll and i woke early to get to church by 9:00am where we were meeting up with other church members to go out into our community and do various work related projects. there was a group going to the library to clean the windows and work in the garden beds, another group working in the church social hall breaking 900lbs of rice into 3 cup bags to be taken to the local food bank, another group walking through the neighborhoods collecting canned and boxed food for the same food bank, another group preparing boxes for the teen mom program at the high school, another group writing cards to soldiers serving in iraq, another group going out to the homes of seniors to mow and weed yards, change fire alam batteries and other odds and end jobs needing done. mr. roll and i went with a group going to prepare a bbq at a homeless camp out on the green river gorge.

we enjoyed the fellowship with fellow church members some of which we knew well and others we met today and immediately became friends with. the greatest joy was meeting the men, women and children who came by to enjoy table fellowship with us. a lot of laughing, talking and having fun. this is how i see spending a sunday. doing god's work. amen.

blessings,

mrs. roll

thursday thankfulls

BIBLE STUDY. it's so important to me and i am so thankful for it that i had to break out of my signature lower case only type. it is the 'it' for me. if gives me strength and reminds me of my purpose in life, that i owe all to the glory of god.

tonight we were studying romans 8. we are more than conquerors. that we are.

blessings,

mrs. roll

tuesday thoughts

another day of sunshine. i took mom out this afternoon and we went to starbucks where we say outside in the warm sun and enjoyed our cool drinks and chatting with others doing the same. we get so few days like this here in the damp pacific northwest that we call come out of our caves when the sun appears. tomorrow the rain is reappearing.

as i sat sipping my cool drink i began to think about dinner tonight. while i do meal plan for the week sometimes what i planned doesn't seem "right" because the weather changed. tonight was not a baked chicken and pasta night as i don't want to heat up the kitchen and lets be honest we can eat baked chicken any time. no chicken tonight, tonight is a grilled salmon night. grilled on a plank and served with a warm buttery lemon sauce, a big salad with lots of beautiful organic leaves, and of course avocado in there too 9and whatever else i find in the veggie drawer of the fridge. good meal it will be.

i talked with shannon today about las vegas, i am so excited to gather with the girls in my family and hang out together. we've ad our moments of discontent and this time just seems different. this time it seems like all of us want to be there and be together. it's all good.

it is time to start dinner.

blessings,

mrs. roll